Choose Reality, Not Your Ego

Article:

“Ego is like a room of your own, a room with a view with the temperature and the smells and the music that you like. You want it your own way. You’d just like to have a little peace, you’d like to have a little happiness, you know, just gimme a break.But the more you think that way, the more you try to get life to come out so that it will always suit you, the more your fear of other people and what’s outside your room grows. Rather than becoming more relaxed, you start pulling down the shades and locking the door. When you do go out, you find the experience more and more unsettling and disagreeable. You become touchier, more fearful, more irritable than ever. The more you try to get it your way, the less you feel at home.”

– Pema Chödrön

When we over-identify with the physical, as defined by our five senses, we become more distant from God and others – we begin to believe that we (or “I”) are all the matters, and that our needs and wants take precedence over the needs and wants of others.

This type of selfishness is indicative of someone trapped in an Ego-cycle, where there is a constant battle between “them” and “us”; it is the “winning at all costs” mentality, the determination to destroy the “enemy” and the denial of any possible compromise. But, most importantly, it is the constant battle within us – between the Ego and our Conscience, that little spark of reason that cannot be bought or stroked, bribed or distracted … cutting through the illusions Ego feeds us with a strong voice which reminds us we are not our Ego – that your life is not Reality.

For most of us the feeding of our Ego leaves us energetically drained. Each day is dedicated to boosting it, to focussing all our energies on it, to protect it from our Conscience – to defend it from our “enemies”, and yet … the result is detrimental to our health and wellbeing. We suffer in relationships, spend more than we earn, lose touch with others, work long hours in jobs we despise but which give us status – everything in our lives plays homage to an Ego that is out of control – and yet … tapping at the edge of our Ego remains our Conscience, vibrant and light, a beacon to free us from our Egos.

If we allow our Conscience in, we soon see it acts as a portal to Reality – the way things are as defined by the natural laws which govern the world and the universe. You do not need to be religious or spiritual to witness these laws, they simply are, for example “good acts generate good outcomes, and bad acts generate bad outcomes.”

When we decide to choose Reality, we are choosing the way things are – taking nothing personally, doing no harm to self and others, thinking only positive thoughts, working hard to help others better themselves without fear of competition, offering ourselves as servants for worthy causes which help all people, and dedicating ourselves to peace.  This is not so easy, especially when we are so used to the selfishness of Ego.

To free ourselves from it, we must be willing to let Ego go. This takes time, practice and patience – it requires a dedication to starving it of attention, to openly challenging its illusions, and reminding ourselves that our Ego is not us – just a result of stagnant self-development and growth.

Meditation is extremely helpful in learning to let go of Ego, as too charity work and religious/spiritual studies. By devoting time to helping others, to training the mind and learning new things, we find that Ego soon diminishes and its influence over us is numbed. This does not mean we lose our Ego entirely, for most of us it is so firmly engrained in our sense of self that to lose it would perhaps lead to mental and emotional imbalance – but we can keep it on a tight leash, pulling it back into line if it gets too big.

Remember, we all come to a point in our lives when we choose between our Egos and Reality, between poor health and good health, between selfishness and service. You cannot live in the present moment in both states – you are either living in your Ego, or you are living in Reality. Oasis suggests you choose wisely.